


nancy drew and the secret of the pirate's gold

by ghostsoldier



Category: Hark! A Vagrant
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 15:48:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/599483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostsoldier/pseuds/ghostsoldier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's always betrayal when pirates are involved. Nancy's pretty sure there's a rule about it or something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	nancy drew and the secret of the pirate's gold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EasyTangent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EasyTangent/gifts).



The thing about pirate money is, betrayal is inevitable. Nancy’s pretty sure there’s a rule about it or something. After all, betrayal is _always_ inevitable when fat stacks of cash are involved, and isn’t pirate money usually cursed? She’s a little disappointed that there are no skeletons (well, except for Janice, but Janice is only part of a skeleton and it’s not polite to point out the failings of others unless _mysteries_ are involved), because curses generally involve skeletons of some sort. 

There should be skeletons. 

There are always skeletons, when it’s pirates.

“That’s because it’s not pirate money,” George says when Nancy leans on the shovel to complain about the lamentable lack of skeletons. Nearby, Janice sits on a concrete bench next to the lantern. She’s their lookout tonight. 

“It’s Monopoly money,” George continues. “Remember, you stole it out of some kid’s toy box? It was _literally_ less than an hour ago. Also, I distinctly recall that you made him cry.”

Nancy frowns, eyeing George suspiciously. The girl looks like George, definitely, and she _sounds_ like George too, what with all the complaining about Nancy making children cry, but she feels like George is usually more supportive than this. Is it possible that _George_ will be the one to betray her for the pirate treasure? 

It’s one of those shocking, terrible twists she never could’ve imagined, except for all those times she imagined it.

Outrageous!

Nancy sidles over to the bench where Janice is sitting. “What do you think?” she whispers. “Will George be the one to betray me so she can steal my treasure? I thought she was one of the few people I could trust, but you never know these days.”

Janice doesn’t say anything, but her silence is confirmation in and of itself and Nancy narrows her eyes as she stares at George from across the half-excavated pit. Maybe it’s just her imagination, but the jar of pirate money sitting in the wet grass looks especially alluring right now. All that magically colored pirate money. And the way George is looking at the jar, with that little line between her eyebrows and that _frown_ …

_Oh my Gosh_ , Nancy thinks. _I knew it!_

George sighs and folds her arms. “You’re suspecting me of some horrible betrayal again, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nancy says loudly. To Janice, she hisses, “Quick, Janice, run! _I think she knows I suspect her_.”

Janice doesn’t move. Protecting Nancy to the last, no doubt. If she had a body, Nancy would hug her.

“Oh, for crying out loud.” George stalks over the grass and sticks out her hand. “Come on, give me the shovel. If burying a jar of Monopoly money will get us inside for cocoa, then by God, I’ll bury that damn jar. Shovel. Hand it over.”

Nancy blinks and gives George the shovel, which George jabs into the ground with what Nancy feels is an unnecessary level of violence. Perhaps…perhaps George isn’t the one who’s going to betray her? But if it’s not George, then that means…

“Oh no!” Nancy claps her hands over her mouth, horrified anew. “Janice. _How could you?_ ”

The worst part is, Janice doesn’t even try to defend herself. She just sits there, all smug silence and duplicity, and Nancy can’t believe it’s come to this. Janice, the one person she never suspected!

She thinks about all secrets they’ve shared, all the times they’ve hidden in trees together. The mysteries they’ve solved. The mysteries they’ve solved even when everyone else kept insisting they weren’t actually mysteries.

“I _trusted you_!” Nancy cries. “I trusted you, and this is how you repay me! Well, I’ll show you. _You’ll never reveal the secret of the pirate’s gold_!”

With shaking hands, Nancy whips the pistol out from beneath her cardigan and points it right between Janice’s wide, empty eyes. She half-expects Janice to scream or cry, but Janice doesn’t say a word.

_The silence of the guilty_ , Nancy thinks. The betrayal hurts worse than anything she could’ve imagined, and tears fill her eyes.

George suddenly seems to realize that Nancy has a pistol and drops the shovel with a yelp. “Oh my God,” she snaps. “Nancy, how many times have we talked about this? You can’t just keep guns in your sweater all the time! There are rules about this sort of thing.”

“It’s Janice, George!” The tears spill over and a sob catches in Nancy’s throat. Her aim wavers. “She’s the one who’s going to steal all my money the second my back is turned. It’s Janice! She’s betrayed us all!”

“You mean the skull,” George says. Her voice is flat. “The creepy skull that you insist is named Janice. The creepy skull you carry around everywhere like some demented purse dog. _That’s_ who’s going to betray you.” 

Nancy sniffles and wipes the tears away with the back of one hand. The sting of betrayal is already giving way to fierce resolve, and she stretches out her arms, grip firm and aim true. “I should’ve known,” she tells Janice. It’s all very dramatic, and she wishes there was some convenient wind around to blow her hair around in an attractive and dangerous manner. “I should’ve known it would come to this. It seemed like you were always there for me, but you were really just biding your time, weren’t you?”

Janice stares at her.

“ _WEREN’T YOU?_ ”

“Nancy,” George says, wearily. “Nancy, it’s a _skull_.”

“She’s going to be,” Nancy snarls, “in just a minute,” and with that she pulls the trigger.

For a long, long moment, nobody says anything. Janice lies on the cold, wet concrete bench, unmoving, her empty eyes turned to the sky, and George is staring at Nancy with a bewildered look on her face. The jar of filthy pirate money sits in its half-dug hole, mostly forgotten, and Nancy slowly lowers the pistol. It was a terrible thing that she just had to do. Terrible, yet necessary.

“Okay,” George says slowly, “so…you just shot a skull with a water pistol.”

“I had to,” Nancy says. The water pistol slips from her nerveless fingers and falls to the grass. “You heard what happened. She was plotting against me.”

“It,” George says, “not she. Also, _it was a skull_. Not an actual person. You do know the difference, right?”

Nancy grabs George by the shoulders. “You have to help me, George,” she hisses. “You have to help me hide the evidence! No one must ever know.”

George frowns. For a moment, Nancy is sure she’s going to argue, because she’s making her, “No, Nancy, you can’t throw peanuts at old people, or fool your friends with robots, or solve the Mystery of Crocodile Island” face. It’s the worst face in the world. In fact, the only person who can make a face that’s _even worse_ is Bess, and the only reason Bess isn’t here right now is because she had a date.

“A mystery date?” Nancy had said hopefully, when she’d invited Bess along, and Bess made the, “No, Nancy, NO,” face and quickly said, “No, I know exactly who he is, Nancy, there’s no mystery about it.”

“Awww,” Nancy said. Well, there went her one lead of the night. The Mystery of Bess’s Date was going to be harder to solve than she’d thought. “Well…let me know if you find any clues.”

“Right,” Bess said. “I’ll…I’ll do that,” and she’d gone off on her not-actually-a-mystery-date and left George and Janice to help Nancy find the pirate treasure on their own. Which, now that Nancy thinks about it…

“Oh my goodness!” Nancy gasps. She shakes George, who makes a face and ducks out of her grip. “What if this was all a ruse on _Bess’s_ part to get the treasure for herself? Golly, I can’t trust _anyone_ anymore.”

George takes Nancy’s elbow and leads her over to one of the concrete benches. Not, thankfully, the one where Janice is lying insensate. “Bess doesn’t want the treasure,” George says. “It was...” She sighs, rolling her eyes. “It was Janice, remember?”

Right! _Janice._ That evil, backstabbing—

“And then you shot Janice with a water pistol—“

Nancy picks at a loose thread on her skirt and says, hopefully, “And now you’re going to help me hide the evidence?”

“Yes,” George says. She picks up the shovel. “And then we’re going back inside, and we’re making cocoa, and I’m breaking into your dad’s liquor cabinet.”

“You mean the mystery cabinet?” Nancy says. “Father put a mystery lock on it, but I think I’ve uncovered enough clues to figure out where he keeps the keys.”

“Are they in his desk?” George says, and Nancy gasps.

“How did you know?”

“Lucky guess.” George hefts the shovel and frowns down into the hole. “Hey, toss me that skull, would you? It’s cold as balls out here, and I could definitely go for some mystery juice.”

George, Nancy decides, is the best friend a plucky girl sleuth could ever hope for. They bury the pirate treasure and Janice too, and when they go inside George makes sure their cocoa is _extra_ -mysterious.

Horrible betrayal aside, Nancy thinks it was a pretty good night.


End file.
